Thursday, October 6, 2016

The Post Partum We Forget to Talk About

After the cracked nipples and stitches in your nether region. After the new found joy and euphoria from falling in love with your tiny new babe. After the many, many [too many] visitors and meals in the first few weeks, there are post-partum things we forget to talk about. And honestly, after I had my first baby, I really wish everyone hadn't failed to mention it. When you start reaching the tipping point of being "mostly recovered" from giving birth, there is still some crap you have to deal with. For example...

1. Your body sucks. There I said it. Right after I have a baby I feel fierce and strong and sexy and even skinny (hello, I dropped 20 lbs. in a week). I feel so happy to be able to breathe and move and function. Then the euphoria of giving birth like a warrior princess wears off and I realize this is what I'm left with. My hips are wide and my stomach is soft and saggy. And so, so out of shape. It can be discouraging, even when I try to not let it be. Getting your body back takes time, and if you make mostly good choices regarding food and exercise, it will come back. Until pants.

2. Your back hurts. Because breastfeeding posture is a real beast and can turn you into the hunchback of Notre Dame. And also, your abs are shot so there isn't much core holding you upright. This takes time to improve but the back pain is real, friends.

3. Thrush and Mastitis. This can pop up anytime while breastfeeding and it's never any fun. Never, ever, ever. First off, pray it doesn't happen to you and at any first sign of pain or tenderness, call your doctor. You don't want to wait either of these out. Trust.

4. Hemorrhoids. Oh, you lucked out and didn't get any of these while pregnant? Don't worry, they can *pop* up at any time while your body heals. Fun.

5. You're out of shape. And I'm not talking about your whole body, I'm talking about downstairs. Do your kegels, use your kegel balls, and have sex (seriously, doctors orders) to help get back into tip top, tight shape. (Also, you might qweef the first time you workout - consider yourself warned.) Call me inappropriate, I dare ya.

6. You're tired. I know that after labor and delivery you are tired, believe me. But the older your baby gets the more behind in sleep you get. And no one is coming over to offer you a nap anymore...or a lasagna.

I get why no one wants to talk about this stuff. Everyone wants it all to be hunky dory and back to normal ASAP. But it's not always a smooth transition. I remember after having my first baby thinking, WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT THAT? So this is my way of telling you, mamas. Be warned. You will be okay though, because you gave birth. You are a warrior.

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