Tuesday, March 29, 2016
If It's Not a, "Hell Yes!"
The reason I enjoy it so much is because, one, it's great for the kids and two, I swear I'm a better mom when we're out doing "stuff." But here's the thing: I don't want to glorify being busy. I don't want "busy" to be a priority. We've all done it. I've called friends I haven't seen in months and say I miss them and their response, "I know, me too. We've just been so busy." I've done it too - "Has it really been a month since we talked? Wow. Life got busy."
People have babies and kids start school and soccer and t-ball and it's true, life does get busy. But are we allowing it to get so busy we forget what's important or fun? Are we letting "busy" be our occupation?
I've adopted a new motto this year. If it's not a "hell yes," then it's a no. I snagged this motto from the Jen Hatmaker (she's pretty near and dear to my heart if you haven't noticed). Three months into the year and it has been the greatest thing, I tell ya.
For example, we just switched churches. Being newly pregnant and based on the departure of our last church, Darren and I just wanted to lay low. We immediately loved our new church and pastor and it just so happens to be a very large church so we thought we'd have no problem hiding for a while. Nope. In less than a month the music pastor and lead pastor called us out after service to meet us. Awesome. I was impressed. Two months in and our pastor was asking us to join his community group at his house. At first I was like, "Let's go! How fun! I mean, how can we say no? He's the PASTOR!" Then I realized I didn't really want to go, it wasn't a hell yes. I was still puking, exhausted by nighttime and already feeling like I said 'yes' to too many other things. It wasn't a "hell yes" so it became a no. And that's okay. I told his wife why we couldn't come and guess what? It wasn't a big deal. Their community group didn't fall to pieces because we decided not to go. They handled it with the grace I sometimes forget to give myself.
With leaving our old church I stopped leading my bible study. Many of the women in the group asked me to keep leading one and I felt so-so about it. I love bible studies. I love leading them and praying with other women and creating such a fun place for fellowship. Growing in Christ with other women is so. my. thing. But [see above] I didn't feel good. I puked until 18 weeks pregnant and I STILL have the occasional meeting with my toilet in the morning. I couldn't give it what I wanted and I certainly didn't want it to turn into a chore or a resentment. It was a no.
Out of that, you know what became a 'hell yes?' A breakfast club. Once a month, my old small group (plus a few others) get together for breakfast. We hang out and catch up and eat a lot of food. We continue to have fellowship and community and we get to do it in a relaxed way that doesn't make me feel like a have "one more thing" to do. It's a hell yes.
Another thing? Isaiah and Maci's preschool teacher asked me to be the sub for the class if either one of them are out. I'm all about partnering with teachers, volunteering in classrooms and taking a part of my children's and their peer's education. Not only was I flattered, I was excited. It was a 'hell yes.'
Book club? Hell yes. I'm an avid reader/borderline book nerd. My idea of a fabulous day is sitting in the sunshine/by the fire/in the bath/on the couch with a good book. I read on the regular anyway. One night a month (with no pressure on prep or attendance) I get together with a group of women to discuss a book we all read. There is food, laughter and time to catch up with girls I love but don't see all the time. And also, we've had some great book suggestions. It's a hell yes.
This moves across the board. Dinners, play dates, birthday parties, showers for friends. All of the things that make us busy.
I am somewhat of a people pleaser. I like to be liked. I like to feel helpful and appreciated. I like to say yes. But as a mom, I've gotten really good at cancelling things. (Because double ear infections and pink eye do not need to be shared.) And if I've said yes to too many things, I tend to feel guilty. But since I've only placed "hell yeses" on my to-do list, my cancellations are few and far between, which means I'm dealing with less guilt. And just as a bonus the people I cancel on understand more than anyone because they are my priorities and my people.
Stop the glorification of busy. Prioritize and balance your life. Because if it's not a hell yes then it's probably a no.
**Note: I don't always have a saucy mouth, but when I do, I use H-E double hockey sticks 64 times in a blog post. Don't judge. ;)