Saturday, July 20, 2013
Hold On To What is Good
Scatter brained, forgetful, tired, spacey. I never would have used those terms to describe myself three years ago. Yet, here I am. I am all those things. And I'm positive I can blame those things on chubby, messy toddler hands leaving smudges on all the furniture and windows and silly children that keep pooping on my family room floor. [sigh] I remind myself all the time this is just a phase in my life. It won't last forever...not even close. In the scheme of things it will seem to have gone by so quickly. I mean they won't poop on my floor forever...right?!
There's always so much to say about what's been happening and I never know where to begin. I rarely even finish telling a story these days so finding time and the brain capacity to type in full sentences is becoming extremely difficult. My kids are busier and busier every day so I find myself feeling a little worn out as well. My sweet husband told me today, "Honey, you work 24/7. Of course, you're always tired." Now I already knew being a mom was work but getting a little acknowledgement here and there is like a taste of heaven.
My kids are great. Better than that, they're fabulous! They're funny, polite, excited, joyful, energy-suckers and I seriously never thought I would love being a mom as much as I do. I also never thought it wear me out as much as it does, nor did I ever think I'd be that lady that's always saying, "Is it that time already? I can't believe how fast time is going." I'm an old lady. Sometimes at night when I close my eyes to fall asleep I'm almost dizzy. Then I find myself laughing at myself. If there's ever a moment I think my own mother is a little nuts I remind myself she has five children. That'll happen.
See how I ramble? Anyway, let me do some quick updates on my kids. Maci is almost 10 months and is crawling and cruising and standing on her own. She has such an expressive and delightful personality. She waves at people all the time and loves to snuggle. She's waking up about once every night but it's getting better. Again, I'm constantly reminding myself this is just a phase in my life. One day she'll grow up.
Isaiah is FUNNY. I laugh at him all the time. He's brave too. Jumps off of things no matter how high and lands on his feet. He speaks in paragraphs and has such an interesting outlook on everything. He loves bugs, trees, dirt, frogs, and always wants to be "farefoot" when he's outside. Calluses are a sign of a great childhood, right? He has swim lessons and toddler gym, each twice a week and loves going to Sunday school. He still loves playing on the ipad and knows all his letters, their sounds, and numbers. He's starting to count objects too, which is fun. On one of his ipad games it says he's at a 4 year old level. He BLOWS MY MIND! He loves to learn. He doesn't really like to use the potty yet. We're working on it. I'm tired of his diapers though. Once again, this is just a phase in my life.
It's hard and messy being a mom. Sometimes I wonder, why do I have to be the favorite? Can't I just get a little time to myself? I honestly just wish I could pee alone. But you know what? This is just a phase. I won't always be the favorite. One day, my kids are going to not want me around all that much. They might and most likely will dislike me and be angry with me at some point. To be honest, I dread those days so it motivates me that much more to relish in the moments I get with them now. The things they say, the way they look at me. The messes, the dirty diapers, the early bedtimes, the early mornings, the "I love yous", the "watch this, mamas", the giggles, kissing it all better, watching cartoons, and hunting for rolly pollies.
The more I realize this, the more I find myself reflecting on this verse:
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good." Romans 12:9
The hard parts of parenting aren't evil necessarily, I know that. But they are tough. At times, daunting and discouraging. I'm just so thankful we have a God that reminds us to not only love sincerely, wholly and completely but he reminds us to HOLD ON TO WHAT IS GOOD. My husband is good. My kids are good. My life is good. God is so, so good.