Sunday, March 27, 2011

A Gift So Great!

Isaiah is already 6 1/2 weeks old and I'm finally getting my groove back. Now that we've both passed the six week mark, we're running out of excuses to stay cooped up in this little apartment. I'm not just starting to feel better, I'm starting to feel great! I've been exercising (I even wore my skinny jeans today!), spending alone time with my wonderful super-hubby, and feeling more comfortable about the little "field trips" I take Isaiah on. Now that I'm passed feeling the relief of no longer being pregnant and dealing with the recovery of post-partum, I've been able to reflect on becoming a mother.

There isn't really one way or word to describe the process. We spend nine long, emotional and sometimes torturous months growing and carrying a baby that we love automatically without even knowing who he/she is or even looks like. I know personally I spent every free moment imagining who Isaiah was going to be and what he was going to look like. And when it wasn't a free moment, I was constantly distracted by the little miracle inside me.

Even after all the hours I spent dreaming up who Isaiah was, and then seeing him for the first time, realizing how different he is from what I imagined, it amazes me just how perfectly he fit into my arms and into my heart and into our life. I remember thinking, "Of course!" when I first saw him. "Of course you look like this! Of course you have your daddy's lips and my eyes; my ears and daddy's nose!"

Now everyday I find myself realizing how everything about him makes sense. Of course he smiles at me when I change his diaper. Of course he sleeps soundly through the loud church music and wakes up as soon as the sermon starts. Of course he eats more than me and poops more than his body weight. Of course he smells the way he does and snuggles on my shoulder when he just needs his mommy. Isaiah is nothing like I imagined! He is so much better and I love him so much more than I ever could have imagined. He is so wonderful and being his mom is so amazing that of course I couldn't have imagined it. Having Isaiah is a gift so great that only God could have imagined him. And we thank God every day for bringing him into our life. :)

And so now I believe more than ever that God loves His children up and down, through and through. Why else would he give us a gift so great?

"As surely as you live, my lord, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the LORD. I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD." And he worshiped the LORD there..." 1 Samuel 1:26-28

1 comment:

  1. So happy for you Caitlin!!! And you look beautiful :)